Curvy Counselling
with Frances Varney
Creating a meaningful life without children
I help people from the childless / childfree community to
deal with any difficulties they have around not having children,
so they feel better about themselves and more positive about the future.
Maybe you’ve learnt that you can’t have children, and now the family life you envisioned for yourself is disappearing into thin air.
Perhaps you’re worried about how you will cope with not being a parent. How it may disappoint other people, or whether your relationship will survive.
I specialise in counselling people who are struggling with any aspect of not having children.
Even if you’ve actively chosen not to have children, you can suffer from the loss of them. And this can happen at any time of life, not just during the crunch years when people expect you to have kids.
For example, when menopause marks the official end of fertility, when friends proudly show you pictures of their grandchildren, or when you’re lying awake at night wondering who will look out for you as you get old or ill.
Sometimes it can feel like everyone apart from you is bouncing
a blooming baby on their lap, while you feel empty and isolated.
It can feel like you’ll never get over the grief of not being a parent,
when you felt like it was your destiny.
Suddenly the life you planned is gone, and there’s just blackness ahead.
You may wonder if you’ll survive it, and what the point of surviving it would be.
I can help
It is possible to feel better.
Counselling can help you grieve the life you’re not going to have, grieve not being a parent and not having your own babies and grandchildren.
Counselling can help you to:
- Recover from your pain,
- Get back your sense of self, and
- Create a new future without children
I give counselling over the phone and online, so I can counsel you wherever you live in the country. You can talk to me from your own home, or anywhere you’ll feel safe and free to talk.
For those who live locally, I offer face to face counselling from a little cabin in my garden on the outskirts of Keighley, West Yorkshire.
I don't have children, so you don't need to worry about seeing child-related things if you have counselling with me.
Frequently asked questions
It depends on what you want to achieve and how deeply you want to explore things. Some people want to work on a particular issue for just a session or two, and that's enough for them. Around 10 to 15 sessions is quite common. And other people may know from the beginning that they want long-term psychotherapy. It's really just what's right for you at this particular time, and you can decide as you go along.
If I have capacity I'll try to arrange your first session within a week, depending on your own availability.
Confidentiality is one of the great benefits of counselling. You can say things to me that you can't say to the people in your life, knowing it'll go no further. But I can't promise 100% confidentiality, because there are some situations where the law requires disclosure. Such instances are rare, however, and usually only happen after talking to the person concerned.
I'm afraid not, I only offer 1:1 counselling. I understand that a family member or friend may wish to support you, or that you may want them just to be next to you when we talk, especially at first. But this can make it harder for you to open up about what really matters to you. Your counselling is for you, and you alone.
Get in touch
Email: frances@curvycounselling.com
Please email or give me a call if you’d like to know more or to book a session. If I can't answer the phone, please leave your name if it's ok to call you back.
You can also message me using this contact form.
I usually reply within 24 hours, although this may be longer at weekends.